Express Yourself!

I have never had trouble expressing emotions. When I was a child, I would often explode in anger at school or home, simply because these emotions were so raw and powerful. Over the years, I've learned how to control my anger - most of the time.It is my most volatile emotion, and it takes tremendous energy to keep it in check.

In the last few years, I've discovered that there are certain emotions that I only feel clearly while I am writing. One of these emotions is sadness. While I am beginning to feel sadness or extreme happiness when I'm not writing, I feel it much more strongly when I am writing. I can only recall two instances in my life when I cried (due to sadness) at a time when I wasn't writing. Both times were, I believe, a gift from God (I'll explain later).

In addition to feeling emotion more clearly through writing, I also am also able to express it more clearly. There are some things which I can't say verbally or in-person, but I can express in writing. For instance, I can't verbally express sorrow when I have caused someone else pain or if I love some one ,both can express beautifully in writing. I am thankful that I have at least the limited medium of writing to express some of the things that are very intense for me. However, there are still some things which I can neither express verbally or in writing.

In the last few years, I have begun to feel new emotions. The strongest is sadness. Before I entered college, I had never felt sadness. (note that sadness is not the same as depression or angst, both of which I felt before) There are other emotions that I am starting to experience today that I didn't experience as a child. Each one of these is a wonderful experience, even the negative ones, as they remind me of my humanity. I consider each of them to be a gift from God, and hope that as time goes on, that I will experience some of the other emotions that I've never felt.