Ping Pong in my head

I had taken leave from work for a few days and was gallivanting around so I had a lot of time to think and random thoughts came to my head. My thoughts create a diarrhea in my mind sometimes. So I have to write to feel better This feeling is like when you eat a lot matlab “dabba ke” a fart / burp makes you feel better similarly when my mind was flooded with these thoughts I decided to let it out and put it to some use.

As I’m getting older, the stances I have about relationships are changing. The truth of the matter is, that although I think there comes a certain point in your life when you know everything, or almost everything, about men and relationships, you don’t. You never will. If you can’t ever know everything about life, why should you be able to know everything about men and relationships? You can’t.

So what am I getting at here? Well let’s start with the basics. Expectations about people are defined as what you think you want in a man. Tall, dark, handsome. Short, pale, ugly. Sweet, smart, rich, funny, reliable, loyal, trustworthy, committed, adorable, young, old, black, white, bald, hairy. Those are your men expectations. Now, expectations about relationships. What you think you want in a relationship. Long, short, playful, serious, committed, open. Expectations about relationships are also what you think, or expect, them to be like. If you act a certain way or do a certain thing, he will do this and you will do that and your relationship will be like so.

I think this is the problem a lot of women face. When does it come time to stop looking and settle down? If you settle too early are you selling yourself short of better, or, “settling”? If you keep looking, do you have unrealistic expectations that will never be fulfilled? This is where the expectations about what you think you should know come into play. If you don’t know what you think you should know about men and relationships, then how do you know when it’s time to settle, or when it’s time to keep looking? Confused? Thought so. I bet, like me, you’re looking for a simple answer, or a cure. Guess what? There is none. That’s the fun of it, right?

To answer as simply as possible, you don’t know and you won’t ever know everything about men and relationships. Do you know where your job will take you in the next five years, or six months? Do you know what career path your son will choose? Life events happen that we can never fully expect or be prepared for. If we are okay with not knowing our futures, how are we not okay with not knowing our love futures? Movies and TV. That’s how. Movies and TV portray love and relationships to be this big to-do like in DDLG. I swear after watching DDLG I wanted my life just to be like that of Kajol’s, but again when I grew up I did not want to run away with the boy.

It doesn’t work like that. Sure, there is such thing as romance and I do believe in fate, but things don’t always play out like that. I think people are looking for that kind of story.

That kind of story, while romantic and intriguing, doesn’t exist for everyone. What does exist, however, is knowing what you want and being happy when you get it. I’m not saying anyone should ever settle, or sell themselves short of true love and a happy relationship because they don’t think they’ve found what they’re looking for.

My question is this: how do you know when you’ve found what you’re looking for? Sometimes in life you just know things, and sometimes you don’t. My point is, that with love and relationships, there comes a certain point when you just expect yourself to know, or not know. But that doesn’t happen and it isn’t true. So we can settle on this: love and relationships, much like the rest of life, is unknown and an adventure. Just like most of life, we do what we can the best we can and we do what we think is right at the time. We do our best and we hope for the best. But will we ever really know everything? No. So we try. And we live our personal adventure. And we hope it turns out for the best. And if it doesn’t, we try again. And if it does, we pray to G-d we know what that means.